A little bit of Taiwan in Singapore

Hahahah.... this week is the week of "celebrations" of the day little ayam came into the world ... My first celebration outing was on Saturday... Thanks gals.. Though I duno if you all are reading this...HEEE.... Anyway... thanx gals.... I really enjoyed my little "taiwanese" celebration.. Pei seh... we are old fooggies so no one brought camera... hahahah... ("P)

So..I guess I will just use words to tell you all what we did.... Our dinner was at the good old Bugis at Lai Lai Beef Noodles house... With the Beef Noodles and Bubble Tea... hahahah.... And a wide variety of small dishes.... eh... got toufu lah... bringal with pork floss lah.... sotong lah... pig intenstine lah.. and the must eat salted chicken...

So after chit-chatting, suaning and catching up with each other on the noisy like nothing 2nd floor of the place with the background playing Ah-Do music... think we listened to the CD like 3 times liao... as we heard the song 坚持到底 for like about 3-4 times... did not really count.. .but my "potato" fren was like commenting she heard that song for like so many times liao.. heheheh... imagine her even noticing that... Anyway... just had a good time catching up with each other... just some silly chatter.... to waste the time away.... sometimes silly chatter is really fun... chatted our 10 year friendship celebration trip is gettting no where... the usual how we knew each other... the holidays and mission trips we had together... how we are doing currently... looking at photos of my potato fren's boyfren... suaning my fren who working in a school and complaining the problems the students are giving her and yet she also giving problems to her own school she is studying in.... Just some silly chatter... but I missed this kind of chatter all the time... I missed the days we had back in Crusade... days where we took bus together... days where we gossiped about our crushes of our senior... days where we had camps at Sentosa and some sec school premises, stayed overnight to play some silly Polar Bear game and waited for the sunrise together... days where we bathed in the toilets together... days where we studied together at the library, dropped each other encouragement cards and then walked down to Crusade room or outside some Lecture theatre for Prayer meetings... days where we had our weekly Friday meetings and ended with our weekly King Albert Park Mcdonald's meeting... days where we meet after school for Bible Study at Canteen 3 with plates of fries in the centre... Those were the days man... hahaha.... old lady babbling about previous days again...

Oh well... after all the silly chatter, we decided to move on somewhere else... was deciding either to go walk walk and then sit down for some drinks... but being the lazy and hate crowd bunch... we decided to find a place to sit down and drink... and where did we go leh?? To Music Dreamer Cafe at Marina Square....

When we went there is was already full house... but it was the first half... the waitress told us 2nd half will have seats cos some customers will leave.. and yeah.. we got seats... was joking that we can just take a mat and sit outside just to hear the music... Anyway... we got a seat... and guess what... the ppl singing was 浩源/礼莲/晋旭... okie... one of them i duno who he is... some young boy... who is rather talented... knows the keyboard and guitar... and he sings rather nice as well... the other 2 is 蔡礼莲 and her husband.. one fo the guys from 梦飞船...

I used to think 蔡礼莲 is rather demure and gentle.. but boy was I wrong... she is very bubbly and 'crappy'... got a lot of cold jokes.... Enjoyed the night just listening to them sing... hehehe... drinking my 简单爱 drink... kekekek.... Which is a combination of my 2 favourite fruit... Lychee and Strawberry.... And quoting for my dear fren Limei.... "It can never go wrong with Lychee"...kekeke.... Really liked the night.... listening to songs... chatting with frens... and passing a very "taiwan" style night.. though I duno in Taiwan they really have such things a not lah.. hahaha.. let me just imagine.... During that time... I momentarily was back to the old Ayam... without much stress or things to worry about... hehehe..

Thanks girls for the wonderful night.... It is expensive so we can't do this often... but remember our karoke date loh...

Here was my pressies.... kekek...

HEEE..... I feel loved....

So what are my plans for my actual day leh... Well... I have took half day leave.. and decided to spend some time with my PAPA .... Need time to look through the pass year how it has past... and guess need to say where I will be going from here... Then after that.. meeting my mamee for dinnner... keke...

Have a good week ahead.. and see you all soon loh...

It's the beginning of the work week again...

As much as I dread it... I know I have to face it... Tomolo is the start of the new work week... And I know I am going to hate it.... cos my frens are on leave... and... I have to cover her work... And its me ex-team's work... everyone tells me maybe when this is all over I will feel better.... But... deep down inside.. I know I won't.... it will never be over.... they will only say cos I know the best... Yah right.... I also took over my current team project... the previous ppl who did it know the best... we also never used that as an excuse... can say becos they are not in the co. anymore.... but we also learn on our own... do the things on our own.. cannot figure out which figure fit into which data... also all we figure out on our own.... why can't you all do that leh??

Call me 小气... call me unforgiving.... call me stupid... call me lazy... I feel I am getting from bad to worse... I feel my work is dropping and I am getting more and more careless... I feel I am getting more and more irresponsible... I feel my temper is getting from bad to worse... and I hate the current me.... that's why I so wana leave... I dun like to see the current me... I hate myself for being so unforgiving.. for holding so much grudges... for flaring up at everyone....

But is that running away from the problems? I also duno.... Maybe it is bah... but PAPA... I know I have to change my temper... I know I have to be more forgiving.. but can it be I know and I promise You I will change... and you grant me another opening elsewhere where I can implement those changes? Not here... not this place... I really dread going to work everyday... I dread facing the people I hate and yet have to pretend to smile at them just for the sake of smiling.... I reallly dread that.... I hate them I hate them I hate them... they were the ones who did not want me... then now cos they are short-handed.. they say they need my help... I can't exercise grace on them... i can't show them love anymore... I reallly can't.... And I hate myself that I can't do that when I know I should... I hate myself for being so unreasonable at times... I hate it when sometimes I feel that maybe I am in the wrong and that I am the one giving them problems... I hate it that problems are arising from every projects... I hate it that I have to stay late every day cos I cannot finish the work... I hate it when my bosses tell me I should not be so sensitive... I hate it when my bosses tell me I have to do things a certain way when I dun think it should be done that way... I hate it when my bosses changes things last minute and I have to do the change... I hate it when my bosses say cos I duno how to delegate work to others...

Most of all... I hate it that Lord I cannot hear clearly Your direction in my life.... Its either I am not hearing clearly.. or You are telling me something which I do not want to accept it as an answer....

And I hate myself.. for being so bitter at all this insignificant things when in elsewhere of the world... Ppl are suffering 100 million times more than me.... God... What is happening? What is happening to this world? Pls be with them Lord... Pls be with all those who have be so trumatised by the incident.. seeing their frens or family die in front of them... Pls be with all those waiting in anticipation for finding their love one... Pls be with all those still living but have lost all that they have... they need love and suppport... they need a hug... they need so much so much more than anyone of us here.... Pls be with all those in the rescue team.... grant them strength to press on.... grant them safety as they tread the treacherous grounds... Pls dun let this situation become worse Lord... pls Lord... pls protect them... Pls Lord...

The earth shoook..

The earthquake shook Sichuan and the whole world...

When it happened .. my parents were set to leave for China... and I sms them ... they also never reply me... got me so worried and scared... called my dad and upon his "Hello... " I was finally relived...

Been following the news lately and it saddens me... I can't imagine if the ppl involved were my parents, relatives, friends or children... Everyday.. you hear news of ppl houses destroyed... ppl losing their families.. children and schools all under rubbles...

Guess in times like this... we just have to appreciate more the ppl around us... thank them more... be kinder to them... love them and cherish their presence...

Friends.. i love you all a lot a lot.. thanks for being in my life... thanks for loving me for who I am ... thanks for tolerating my frequent tempers.. ("P)

PAPA... pls be with your people over there.... let them know that You are with them... let them have a hope for the future... provide them with the neccessities to rebuilt their house...

Blogging is a pleasure

Hahaha.... Irony for someone who is very irregular at blogging yah... But I do think its a pleasure... reading blogs is a pleasure as well... HEE... I miss Dawnie's blog though... Dawnie... when will you start writing a blog for us to read again leh?


Today went out with the SIM gals... cos Da Jie wanted to pass us her wedding invitation... The first one to get married.... Wonder who is next?? My guess? Either Dawnie or Linnie?? Though age wise... I should be the next in line? HAHAHA.... I wish man.....


Okie... came back and wanted to do my work... But when I on my lappy... I just cannot bring myself to look at the report... And one of the file I saved cannot be opened... "sigh"... guess i have to go to the office early on Monday... hopefully I can wake up...


Lately been really struggling with the issue of anger... Guess I am still very sore at the fact that they "force" me to transfer dept... and then when I transferred... they say I am still responsible for the previous project.... I guess I was so uncooperative and unreasonable cos I was honestly very sore about the whole thing.... And adding on to the fact i felt they were the ones who did me wrong... they were the one who did not want me in the first place... But I realised... in the end... It just made me a more horrible person... I can't say I have fully forgiven them now... Maybe its also not their fault... HA! But I am bad.. I still do think its their fault... ("P) Oh well... stubborn Ayam needs some time to sort out my thoughts lah...


But what have I learnt in it all leh? It is that I should not let the evil one affect my thoughts lah... The other day went CG and we learnt with regards to eh... something to do with anger lah... And i realised during those few days... i reallly keep thinking I was the victim... I keep thinking... they are the ones who did me wrong.. so why should I help them? Why should I take that responsibility? I also duno who is right who is wrong lah.. Maybe they are wrong... If so, I should sitll forgive me.... Maybe I am in the wrong... and if so, then I should change my attitude... I will try.... I can be very stubborn at changing... But I will try... and PAPA.. only you can transform me loh...

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Everytime when it comes to Sunday nights... I just get this horrible feeling... this week as usual I brought my work back to do... But honestly... I got no moood at all to do it... and so... I decided to not do anything... will just have to "face the music" on Monday loh.. hahah... see how it goes lah... the other day saw my boss made some changes to the slides again...if she wana those changes to me made to ALL the slides I will really freak out... One report is already 400 over slides... Imagine 19 reports... And I just dun understand.... when they were finalising the template.. she never say she wana those changes... she say the template looks good... "sigh"... Okie PAPA... I need to love them... I need to love them... I need to love them....

Today is today... I wonder if I can remain in this attitude tomolo... or will i become the sore sore Ayam again?

Lately in the mood for blogging...

Tomolo is Monday... and i am dreading it badly.... guess cos there are just so much things to settle tomolo... Reports... close of FW... sending data... so on and so forth... and adding on to the fact that it was a long weekend for me...

Was intending to get out my photocopies of my certs and all in prepration for job interviews and so on... well... my certs and all are in my cupboard.. in a drawer in that cupboard.. i placed all the cards I got since Poly... In Poly... we had this habit of writing encouragement cards to one another... I kept all of them.... so... its piles and piles of cards... all from my Poly year 1 until now.. heheh... think most of the cards come during camps in Poly... well.. for the benefit of those who do not know me in Poly... which the majority of you reading this blog.. I was in Campus Crusade for Christ... we always have 2 camps every year... and during that time... we will write a lot of encouragement cards to each other... to ask each other to press on for PAPA.. learn more from PAPA during the camp... then there are a lot of cards also during exams when we studied together... it could be in little pocket size cards.. slips of paper.. or bookmarks... read some of them... and tears start coming down ... I miss those days so much... I miss those Poly days.. I miss those school days... Came upon the SIM gals brithday cards for me as well... The little Ayam book.. I guess I am just being emotional... I just dun wana today to end... cos waking up tomolo means I have to face tomolo.. But I just have to face tomolo...

Opened my email and found this mail from a Co. I applied to.. ask me to fill in some additional application form and send to them.... then suddenly fear gripped my heart...I dun wana work in that Co. for long... I just feel sick... then i start to wonder what I really want out of my career.. To be honest... I duno... I really duno what I want.... I dun get work to do.. I complain.. I get too much work to do... I complain... I complain at every single thing there is to complain about... And I feel sick that I am behaving this way...

Guess I just wana throw everything aside... go for a holiday.. and forget about everything for the moment... if I can only do that... go to somewhere where no one can call me and tell me there are problems with the project so on and so forth... go to somewhere where I am not me for the moment.. where I dun have to be me for the moment..

God.... Please transform my mind... please renew my mind so that I do not conform to the pattern of this world and so that I will be able to test and approve what your good, pleasing and perfect will is... PAPA.. I really need you so so much...

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Thump-Thud, Thump-Thudby Max Lucado

When a potter bakes a pot, he checks its solidity by pulling it out of the oven and thumping it. If it “sings,” it’s ready. If it “thuds,” it’s placed back in the oven.

The character of a person is also checked by thumping.

Been thumped lately?

Late-night phone calls. Grouchy teacher. Grumpy moms. Burnt meals. Flat tires. You’ve-got-to-be-kidding deadlines. Those are thumps. Thumps are those irritating inconveniences that trigger the worst in us. They catch us off guard. Flat-footed. They aren’t big enough to be crises, but if you get enough of them, watch out! Traffic jams. Long lines. Empty mailboxes. Dirty clothes on the floor. Even as I write this, I’m being thumped. Because of interruptions, it has taken me almost two hours to write these two paragraphs. Thump. Thump. Thump.

How do I respond? Do I sing, or do I thud?

Jesus said that out of the nature of the heart a man speaks (Luke 6:45). There’s nothing like a good thump to reveal the nature of a heart. The true character of a person is seen not in momentary heroics but in the thump-packed humdrum of day-to-day living.

If you have a tendency to thud more than you sing, take heart.

There is hope for us “thudders”:

Begin by thanking God for thumps. I don’t mean a half-hearted thank-you. I mean a rejoicing, jumping-for-joy thank-you from the bottom of your heart (James 1:2). Chances are that God is doing the thumping. And he’s doing it for your own good. So every thump is a reminder that God is molding you (Hebrews 12:5-8).

Learn from each thump. Face up to the fact that you are not “thump-proof.” You are going to be tested from now on. You might as well learn from the thumps—you can’t avoid them. Look upon each inconvenience as an opportunity to develop patience and persistence. Each thump will help you or hurt you, depending on how you use it.

Be aware of “thump-slump” times. Know your pressure periods. For me, Mondays are infamous for causing thump-slumps. Fridays can be just as bad. For all of us, there are times during the week when we can anticipate an unusual amount of thumping. The best way to handle thump-slump times? Head on. Bolster yourself with extra prayer, and don’t give up.

Remember no thump is disastrous. All thumps work for good if we are loving and obeying
God.

From On the Anvil:Stories On Being Shaped Into God’s Image

In a mood for just writing nonsense

Ha... listening to some music.. and suddenly felt like writing just some stuff...

Today is a Sat... yesterday was my mom's birthday... took leave to go out with her.. and she actually went out with my aunty instead.. HA! So... i stayed at home... wanted to do some work that I brought back.. but was awaken by my house phone... my auntie sms my mum and duno why it was diverted to my house phone.. HA... to wish my mum happy birthday.. thought it was my sis.. but no.... still no news from her.... I really dun understand why she dun wana our family liao... a lot of thoughts will come to my mind.. like oh.. maybe she is just busy.. maybe she is sick so she dun wana us to worry so stay in friend's house... (CHIO CHIO CHIO)... but... i really still cannot understand.. dun dare to email her cos I afraid she angry... I emailed her once liao.. but she never replied that email... she did not used to be like that... but I've never been really close to her.. so .. guess i will not understand what she is thinking lah...

okie.. to continue on my story... when grumpily to pick up the phone... then cos it was an sms.. i jsut put down the phone and went back to my comfy bed... duno why I pick up my HP to look... saw got 1 missed call .. thought it was from a co. I wrote in too... happily looked at the number... it was my Co. ... "sigh".... i ignored it and went back to sleep.... think i woke up by the house phone again... a lot of ppl calling to wish my mum happy birthday.... i laid on my bed and rolled around.. hahaha...did not want to wake up so early on my off day.... took up my HP again to check... I got 4 MISSED CALLS!! and 2 SMS... my fren kept calling and smsing.. saying need me to call back... I'm sorrie Ruby.. to be honest.. I was furious... It is my off-day... i wanted to rest lor... guess i knew I had to wake up... so I grumpily went to the toilet.. brush my teeth... and called her up... something was wrong with the figures of the report again... but it was not our fault mah.. How on earth would I know or be able to check there is no such counters in those stores? Yes, maybe I should have called FW up and check at the time when Albert asks us to check lah... but...

Oh well... so helped to change the reports again.. and all that.... Guess I was rather rude on the phone again.... I'm sorrie my friend... It was just my foul temper...

My temper has always been bad... I know that it is... but it became worse when I came to work here... And I hate this part of me.... I want to help .. I do... but sometimes... i just get so angry... why me again? something good its not me lor... but something bad happen.. then they say its my responsibility... I know I have to learn something from all these... I have to learn patience especially.... but its so hard God.. its really so hard... I feel horrible to know that sometimes I am in the wrong.. but I still continue to 撒野... hehehe.. oh well...

Sometimes I really duno what I want out of life... I work and work... but in the end ... what is it I get? My goal in life has been to make a difference in the ppl around me... and let them see the glory of my PAPA... but... i sometimes feel I am doing the opposite.. HA! Let them see the horrible part of me... and then they start to doubt if my PAPA is the true God.. and that makes me so guilty.... God... I am so sorrie... at the bad example I am potraying... Oh well...

Later going out with the SIM gang... to celebrate our CEO's birthday.. heheh.... Gals... I'm so glad you all are in my life... really.... Okie.. enough of my blabbering... Nana...i also wish I had the chinese calibre of 阿信... then i can write all this in chinese.. hahah. but i cannot lah... think i will spend almost one week if I do that....

One week ago... I was so excited to go for my 5 heroes concert... one week later.. .I am here blabbering nonsense and preparing to go out to celebrate my CEO's brithday... one week later... where will I be leh??