A gift...
Hey linnie! Thanks! Appreciate it... :)
This week been better... in a way... still at my work... thought had some good news but now also duno whether it will come true and whether it is good news or not... I am just strange...
My sis has finally emailed back... saying she is now studying... I duno.. I've not been emailing her anymore... I also duno what to say to her... to come home? to tell her about mum and dad? i am scared what i get from her is indifference.. i am scared in the end she will be angry and dun wana come back even more...
i guess a lot of times.. i feel i want to get out of here..watching too much korean dramas also have some sort of influence.. the lead actresses always have a problem but the lead actors can come along and save them from all these... coming to a certain age.. i also wish i have that someone to come and tell me its ok... but guess real life is not like reel life.. hahaha...
anyway... at least i have accomplished one thing i have committed to my PAPA... which is to attend BSF... though i am not very hardworking and dun do my BSF homework everyday... at least I still do them over the weekend... attending has been good... its good to study God's word... and its a good reminder again of who my Saviour is... I guess growing up in church is a good and bad thing.. good of course is we get the foundation.. but bad thing guess is that sometimes i duno where is my change? So what difference is there in my life before i know my PAPA? I also duno... when I was young... i really loved Him with my whole heart... I trusted that He is my Lord and I loved Him... But guess along the way.. i started to fall away.. and the real change came in Crusade days bah? Now I also duno where I stand... Somedays I can say I trust Him .. some days I start to wonder...
Watching some shows really make you wonder... you see the beginning and the end... and you say how can such things happen.. or if only that person knows how much the other person has given or done for him or her... and in real life.. we only see our life from one perspective... does it mean in real life... we have to look from all perspective.. and we can really understand what is going on?
I guess one of my wrong thinking is that I always think God owes me... He owes me a good life as He was the one who gave me my current status... But God has never owed me anything... I owe Him so much more... and what He gives me is really His love and His gifts.. I am sorry PAPA... I really need to change my thinking... Though I may never understand till the day I die... but whatever You give me is really a gift... Thank you for my life.. thank you for my family... thank you for everything... thank you ....
This week been better... in a way... still at my work... thought had some good news but now also duno whether it will come true and whether it is good news or not... I am just strange...
My sis has finally emailed back... saying she is now studying... I duno.. I've not been emailing her anymore... I also duno what to say to her... to come home? to tell her about mum and dad? i am scared what i get from her is indifference.. i am scared in the end she will be angry and dun wana come back even more...
i guess a lot of times.. i feel i want to get out of here..watching too much korean dramas also have some sort of influence.. the lead actresses always have a problem but the lead actors can come along and save them from all these... coming to a certain age.. i also wish i have that someone to come and tell me its ok... but guess real life is not like reel life.. hahaha...
anyway... at least i have accomplished one thing i have committed to my PAPA... which is to attend BSF... though i am not very hardworking and dun do my BSF homework everyday... at least I still do them over the weekend... attending has been good... its good to study God's word... and its a good reminder again of who my Saviour is... I guess growing up in church is a good and bad thing.. good of course is we get the foundation.. but bad thing guess is that sometimes i duno where is my change? So what difference is there in my life before i know my PAPA? I also duno... when I was young... i really loved Him with my whole heart... I trusted that He is my Lord and I loved Him... But guess along the way.. i started to fall away.. and the real change came in Crusade days bah? Now I also duno where I stand... Somedays I can say I trust Him .. some days I start to wonder...
Watching some shows really make you wonder... you see the beginning and the end... and you say how can such things happen.. or if only that person knows how much the other person has given or done for him or her... and in real life.. we only see our life from one perspective... does it mean in real life... we have to look from all perspective.. and we can really understand what is going on?
I guess one of my wrong thinking is that I always think God owes me... He owes me a good life as He was the one who gave me my current status... But God has never owed me anything... I owe Him so much more... and what He gives me is really His love and His gifts.. I am sorry PAPA... I really need to change my thinking... Though I may never understand till the day I die... but whatever You give me is really a gift... Thank you for my life.. thank you for my family... thank you for everything... thank you ....
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