Silence.........

PAPA... sometimes... when you are silent... it feels so horrible... I duno izzit I am not making an effort or what.... I wana spend time with you... but when its so silent... it just feels silly...

So many things been happening at home... and when I see my mum cry and hear her complains.. it hurts... When she tells me she don't trust You anymore... and she dun understand You.. it hurts.. Lord, why can't you work something out for the family? Why can't You just speak an audible voice to my mum to tell her You love her? No matter what I say makes not difference... No matter how much I tell her I love her doesn't ease her pain...... It pains me to see her like that...

Sometimes.. I really duno what this silence means.... Why can't things be easier? Why can't You make life easier? I know my faith should not be based on feelings... I know it has to be based on faith and trust in You... but Lord.... I will try... But in the midst of my trying... Please help my mummy.... Please speak to her... Please comfort her.. And let her know You are in her life.. You love her... Please Lord..

Months~~~~~~

Just realised I have not updated this place for a long time...

Just got back from church... busy doing my office work now... But very sianz... so came here to blog for a while...

Sometimes... PAPA.. I really wonder if You are really there.... I love You, I love church, I love my friends in church... but... why izzit that something seems to be missing? What is it that is missing? I also duno... I sometimes feel I have tried... tried my best... but is there something more I can do?

At work too... I have tried my best... but I still keep making silly mistakes... Though I can say my temper is a bit better... but I still feel... maybe cos I am not so busy... When I get busier.. will my temper go back to my usual old ways again?

I dun wana go back down into the pit of my lows again... I hate that feeling... But Lord, why do I feel sometimes You seem so silent...

Please dun ignore our cries... pls dun be angry with us that You dun wana bother about us anymore... Pls Lord...